Last week in class we talked about some patterns that where
a little different then the normal punctuation, colon, etc. It was interesting
to me to use some patterns that had to do with the structure of the sentence.
In school, when we were just starting to learn about sentences, we learned just
the basic sentence (and I am going to use an example from class), “Amy hit the
ball.” Period. Done. That was it, and here is your simple sentence. Now as I
get older, I am learning that even though those simple sentences are crucial to
writing, I want to challenge myself so that all of my sentences aren’t the
same. As a professional writing major I want to be able to construct my
sentences in many different ways; rhetorically this is going to be crucial to
my writing. When you are trying to get a point across you want to be able to
fill your paper/argument with as much diversity (writing wise) as you can.
So the patterns of the week consisted of, a compound
sentence with a FANBOYS, a rhetorical fragment, and a use of the objective-case
pronoun. This week instead of taking writing from my previous assignments I
want to write some things on my own.
As I walked to class trudging through the feet of snow that
we received over the weekend I thought to myself, “how much longer is spring
break?” Not that I am counting but it is 33 days until we are out for a whole
week. I do not hate the snow, nor do I
like being outside in it [Compound sentence with a comma and a fanboys] but
after Christmas, it should melt because nobody likes the snow after Christmas. Yet it comes. [A rhetorical fragment]
Not just a dusting of snow. It comes in buckets, and buckets of snow. I look
around as I am slowly trying to maintain my balance on the slippery ground and
think “whom would find me if I fell
right now?” [The use of object-case pronoun]
For the DOL assignment my partner and I were assigned number
eight which was, examining a corporate slogan or brand that uses
grammar/spelling in an interesting way. Our concept is pretty straight forward,
but what I think would be interesting would be to have the class make up a
slogan on their own. Have them think of a brand that they like and then come up
with one slogan that uses incorrect grammar/spelling in a rhetorical way to
sell their company.
Christine,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your writing! It was nice to see something that was written just for fun, and I completely agree--I cannot wait for spring break! You did a good job at using all three of the patterns this week, props! In your compound sentence, I think you might have forgotten the period to end the sentence. It would look like this:
"I do not hate the snow, nor do I like being outside in it. After Christmas, it should melt because nobody likes the snow after Christmas." I like how you used "nor" though, that one is harder to use depending on the context of the piece.
Remember to make sure that you can answer the question with "whom" in it with a "him/her" statement.
Good job!
Tara
I like your writing topic!! I too am done with snow. Wednesday was weather that I could live with for quite some time. It was beautiful. I am not very clear on all the rules of comma use, but I think that some of your commas weren't quite in the right place... Although I could be wrong. For example: "I do not hate the snow, nor do I like being outside in it but after Christmas, it should melt because nobody likes the snow after Christmas." The comma after snow and before nor is correct as we know from the rules of FANBOYS, I think that you need to either add a comma after "outside in it" or just put a period there and start a new sentence. Because "but" is one of the FANBOYS words, I think that that merits a comma used before it.
ReplyDeleteOne other suggestion is your use of "whom". I tried to use this word in my writing too, and found it very difficult to incorporate. In this instance, remember that in order to use "whom", you must be able to replace (or rewrite the sentence) to incorporate "him" or "her". I believe that "who" would be most appropriate in this spot.
Overall, I really like your ideas and your writing. For our DOL tomorrow, I have a few company names and their slogans, along with why the "inappropriate" grammar works with them.